October 8th, 1986
Hello, my name is Dave. I am starting this journal to keep record of my mentality. I fear that I may be losing my mind. It all started about a week ago when I was going to sleep. I started getting these constant shivers that would run up and down my spine. It feels as if someone is slowly running a cold blade up my back when I try to sleep. I also get this feeling like thousands of tiny insects are crawling all over my skin. It’s like a million legs are creeping all around my body. It makes me want to flay my skin with a knife and peel it off like a wetsuit. I have this unbearable urge to lash out at myself and I am trying really hard not to do so. I feel as if there is a war going on inside my head and I am losing...
October 17th, 1986
Hello me, I am having a few more unusual problems. My skin is absolutely crawling with these “insects” now. I feel their tiny legs all over me. It is driving me absolutely mad! I have tried everything to alleviate this feeling. I am covered in scratches and cuts from my fingernails. My arms are a bloody mess if I must say so. I have clipped my nails down to the point where I cannot even scratch myself if I tried. On top of that, I have been getting these debilitating migraine headaches. When I get these migraines, I feel horribly nauseous and then I hear this high-pitch ringing sound. Last time I had one of these headaches, my vision faded slowly into blackness and then I passed out. I awoke afterward in my bathroom sprawled out on the floor. I have no recollection of how I ended up in there. I must have walked in there without realizing it. But, there is some good news. I am no longer suffering from insomnia. I have been able to rejoice in this small victory against my mind.
October 24th, 1986
Hello me, it’s me again. I am losing this battle with my mind slowly but surely... I have lost all hope of having a sound mind again. I have fallen into a deep depression. That blade is running down my back again, only now it feels too real. I can almost feel the edge of the blade slicing into my spine, slowly. The insects are multiplying and crawling faster than ever. I have gone absolutely berserk. There are chunks of time just missing from my days... I cannot recall hours at a time. I don’t know where I have been or what I have been doing anymore. I feel like an outsider in my own body. I can barely keep a straight thought for more than a few seconds at a time. I am horrified at what I have become. I awoke from one of these “migraines” today to find that my hands were covered in blood. After a close inspection on my body, I could not find any new cuts. I fear that I have done something horribly wrong.
October 25th, 1986
Hello me... This is possibly my last entry for I have given up all hope and I have succumbed to madness. I find that living in the present is an impossibility. There is a numbness that I am feeling now. Living life is just is not worth it anymore. I received news today that my neighbor, who has been living next to me for years, was murdered. Apparently, somebody broke into his house last night and killed him. The details of the murder are absolutely brutal. I cannot even begin to mention what happened to him. I think I killed him. I am unsure, but I might have done it. I am unable to recall where I was last night. I have completely lost it... If there is a hell, I am living in it.
October 28th, 1986
Well me, its been nice talking to myself. They are committing me. The men in the white coats are coming to take me away soon. I have no regrets for anything I have done. There is this itch I am getting in the back of my head, an itch I just need to scratch. I need to do it again. There are bullets of sweat pouring down my face as I think about it. The time has come. I must go.
...Someday, you will all know my pain...
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